curiousb | Train of Thought

Current Mood: frustrated
Current Music: adele - he won't go

Entry tags:

ranting

Train of Thought

It's been a bit quiet around here lately, hasn't it?

This is the reason: I feel like I'm stuck in a complete rut, creating-wise.

I guess it's not really something anyone can help with (unless anyone has some helpful words of wisdom they can share?), but I just feel the need to get it off my chest - so please forgive this minor rant, Friends' List!

See, this is what happens: I get all motivated and enthusiastic about a new project; everything starts well, and for a while I'm motoring along quite happily, making good progress, when suddenly I seem to hit a brick wall. This is usually about the time when I'm trying to put the finishing touches to something - tweaking the final textures, dealing with minor mapping issues, eliminating weird shinyness in-game, etc. I just seem to reach a point where nothing I try to do works as intended, so I get incredibly frustrated with the whole business and decide to put the project on hold for a while. Then I start a new project thinking maybe this time I will actually be able to complete something, and the exact same thing happens.

As a result, I have god knows how many nearly-finished projects lying around that I can't face dealing with, as it just gets me too wound up when I can't resolve the problems that made me put them aside in the first place. Grrrr.

I'm not sure whether this is a case of extreme perfectionism, or just plain lack of skill/ability/talent.

Anyway, suffice to say, I'm heartily fed up with myself - and my projects folder - at the moment. I have so much new stuff I'd like to be able to share, but I just can't get the damn things finished to my satisfaction. Humph.

OK, rant over - I know there are far, far worse problems to have than this - but I just wanted to have a bit of a grumble to the only people who are likely to understand. Now I'm off to make a comforting cuppa.

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This is what help is for, you can always ask for it. :P There's a lot of people who have skills you don't necessarily have and are willing to help.

And i think it's a case of your extreme perfectionism, you should get rid of it. At least the extreme part. Even if things you create are not perfect (for you) people will be happy to have it. So you better go back to finishing your projects. :P

There, I don't have anything wiser to say, heh.

True, true - I know there are some really helpful and talented people on GoS, I'm just not very good at asking for help sometimes. ;)

Anyway, although my perfectionist streak has actually stood me in good stead most of my life, I know very well that extreme perfectionism can be more of a handicap than anything, especially when (like me) you don't know when to stop working on something!

So, OK, I will try to stop being so hard on myself, and get back to work!

And that was quite wise enough for me, so thank you. :D

Oh I know exactly what you mean. I looked at my Projects folder the other week and UGH. As a result, I went through the whole thing and 1) deleted the stuff I've already shared, 2) posted a content dump of the stuff which was completed and I'm working on 3) finishing stuff to share and deleting the stuff I don't like. Having started the whole process, I already feel so much happier about it. My projects aren't that great (hairs mostly... yea ok basically just hairs) and are easy for me to tidy up, and yours are much bigger so the tidying will take longer.

I think you are a perfectionist creator (whereas I am a lazy one >D) so maybe this won't help much but.. :P why not collaborate with someone to finish something? You are way more skilled then I am, but even I wouldn't mind lending you a hand/some fresh eyes. Sometimes you need a break from things or someone to give you some helpful feedback. You have awesome creating ideas so don't give up on them! If you need to, make an entry detailing all your progress so you can get feedback on what to do next/see if anyone can make some suggestions/see if someone could collaborate.

In conclusion, because I am waffling -

"I'm not sure [if I] just plain lack of skill/ability/talent."

Nooooo you are awesome <3

I really, really appreciate the offer of help, thank you! However, I am going to dispute that I am more skilled than you - I couldn't hope to retexture hair or create new makeup as well as you do. ;P

Anyway, I like your idea of a post showing progress so far, and asking for feedback or suggestions - I think I'll dig out some of the stuff I'm really stuck on for that one!

As I've already said to someone on LJ, I really didn't want it to seem like I was fishing for compliments, but I'm genuinely feeling at the moment that perhaps I've just reached the limits of my abilities in some areas and need to be less ambitious. But thank you, for the vote of awesome, which cheered me up no end (and I think you're pretty awesome too, as demonstrated by my 'Nymphy' downloads folder). :D

I forgot to say, not to mention the amazing tattooed skintone that you made for the hobbies theme - skintones just baffle me!

I sympathize! I've hit this sort of wall on all sorts of creative stuff; it seems to be a big part of being creative.

A lot of times it has been related to my skill level just not being at where I needed it to be to do what I was trying to do, and walking away from the project for a while and then trying to finish it -- or starting a new one very similar -- goes much better because I've given my subconscious time to work out how to fit everything I know together.

Sometimes it's being too close to something, and the same applies -- step away from the project a while to return to it with fresh eyes. Sometimes I come back to see I was being way too nitpicky, or that I missed something obvious that I couldn't see until I'd pulled back for a while.

When I step away, it usually means stepping away from making things entirely to give my brain a rest and feed it by consuming media -- like playing the game for once (XD), reading, looking through online galleries of artists I really like or searching for fanart of my favorite media, general puttering around. Whatever entertains you! The point is to fill that mental well that depletes when you make stuff.

It helps, but all the same, I could probably fill a small library with all of the projects I've ditched over the years. Sometimes things just don't work or I just can't look at anymore, period.

Thanks, Aquilegia - it is good to know that so many other people hit the same wall at times!

Yes, I think you're right, that taking a break for both reasons you mention can be a good idea. I'm pretty sure that there are projects I abandoned months ago that I would now be much better equipped to complete, and certainly with the problems I'm trying to iron out at the moment I feel that I've been staring at them so long I can no longer even see them clearly any more! Oh, and you know I'm as bad as you for never actually playing my game, and spending all my time tinkering in Photoshop/Bodyshop/SimPE instead, so it would be rather a treat to do that for a while instead. ;)

And maybe I will have to accept that there are some projects I'll never be happy with, and just move on from them (bye bye, alien skintone project).

I totally understand that feeling. Sometimes you just don't have it in you to reach the point of letting something out into the wild.

Thanks, jacci! And yes indeed - I never like to admit defeat, but maybe I'm going to have to do just that for some of this stuff (see my response to Aquilegia above - that darned alien skintone has me beat!).

I do want to touch on something that has been said. You can totally vent/collab/anything with me. I don't have to tell you that you saved my bacon a few times, I don't take that lightly. Besides you're just an awesome person and a large part of why I feel at home here and GOS.

Oh, bless you, jacci (I could hug you)! And thank you so much for your offer of help, which I'm sure I will take up. ;)

I sometimes get stuck in the same kind of situation when I'm creating something in real life. I come up with some seemingly awesome idea, get all excited about it, start working on it, realize I'm not interested in it any longer, put it aside and never finish it. But trust me, if the project in question is worth the effort, the inspiration and/or energy to continue will return. It always does for me. What I suggest doing now is taking a break from the whole deal and concentrate on, say, playing the game. Or filling the time previously spent on creating doing something non-sims-related. Good luck!

Thanks, lagrit! Yes, it happens to me in real life too, and I get just as annoyed about that as well! But, I agree, that a short break of some sort - to actually play my game for a change maybe, and recharge my batteries - is probably just what's needed. :)

Aw, I'm sure you'll find it again... There's nothing wrong with taking a break!

Yes indeed, maybe I just need to put it all aside for a bit, until I regain my mojo. Going back to building my 'hood is rather appealing at the moment, I must admit... ;)

I'm one of those awful people that takes stuff and rarely comments - but I just thought I'd reply to your post, particularly after reading this line, "I'm not sure whether this is a case of extreme perfectionism, or just plain lack of skill/ability/talent.". You definitely have skill, ability and talent! I love so many of your creations, since first stumbling across your Silk Mill lot. Perhaps around the time you hit a road-block you should post previews about your WIPs and any issues you are having - just a rant even - and people might be able to give advice, or even just cheer you on, and that might help you keep your frustration at bay?

Just a suggestion - but definitely know that you are an awesome creator! <3

Thank you very much indeed - you're too kind, but your comment really cheered me up!

As I said to Nymphy above, I'm a bit conscious that it looked like I was asking for compliments, but I have honestly begun to feel that I'm just over-ambitious in what I try to do sometimes.

So, I think I'm forming a plan of action, where I'll have a little break from it - just a week or two to play around with my game - and hopefully come back to the creating recharged, and with some new ideas and inspiration. And be brave enough to ask for some feedback/advice/help when I do so. ;)

I don't think you should worry that you are fishing for compliments - and I doubt people would think that way. But of course, I always do when I post anything less-than-cheerful...so I think everyone feels the same way when posting similar!

I think your plan sounds a good one! Do what makes you happy :)

If I would be a perfectionist, I'd never create anything :).
I am aware that the most of my creations/ideas would be much better in the hands of someone more skillful, neat, clever and techically versed, as for instance you are already.
Still, creating brings me joy and that motivates me to repeat it even though I am often angry because of the disproportion between my wishes and abilities.
You don't have to worry about your talent and ability at all, but, if you are not sure about the result sometimes, wich is usual, during the process or need an opinion about some unfinished project, I'm sure people are here to help. There is a collaboration as a possibility too, as Nymphy suggested.

Oh, bubus, you are being way too hard on yourself! Everything you make is beautiful, and I have just about everything you have ever made in my game! But, it is good to know that a creator I admire as much as you sometimes feels the same way.

But thank you for your kind words. And yes, I do think I need to be braver about asking for feedback, and help where it's needed. :)

Oh, bubus, you are being way too hard on yourself!

Oh, no, no, I love to be honest with myself :).
Thank you for your lovely words - who is fishing for compliments here :p?

You are right, it's interesting to hear you are not alone in some feelings or point of view. It seems there are plenty of problem variations among those who create.

And yes, I do think I need to be braver about asking for feedback, and help where it's needed. :)

I think you've been brave when saying out loud about your doubts, undefined feelings and uncertainty.
I'd be glad to help whenever you need a second opinion (if it's OK with you).

Thank you for your offer to give a much-needed second opinion - I'd be very glad to take you up on that some time. :)

Aww.. :(

I know how you feel. I've started on several projects, hit a brick wall, then chunked them out the window.
I agree with what others have said, that asking for help could be a good thing.

Keep your chin up, Curious! <3

Thanks, Bubbles! I hate giving up on things, but I guess it might be the only option for some of those languishing projects. As for the rest, I'm going to play with my pixel dollies for a bit, for a change, and hopefully come back to the creating recharged in a week or so. :)

I think you're being way too hard on yourself! You have amazing talent, and it shows in the great things you make and share with everyone. Maybe this break from creating to actually play more might be really good for your creative process, though. Have fun! :)

Thank you - but being hard on myself is what I do best I think! ;P

Anyway, I think some fun is what definitely what is needed (and the pixel dollies are feeling rather neglected these days) - much as I love creating, it annoyingly can turn into a chore sometimes.

Just to say I share your feeling. I hope you'll find fun in playing and your inspiration will return. As the others said : not too much perfectionism, asking for help, advices, opinions. But not too much perfectionism : it's important to give the best of yourself but it's supposed to be just a hobby, a game. Even if it's not perfect, people will like it. And people could use it to make new things ... this is part of the fun! But doubting is also part of the process.
You're awesome.
Take care and have fun!

Thank you, Ove!

I've discovered that quite a few people seem to share my frustrations - creating for Sims obviously attracts perfectionists! And yes, I probably do take it too seriously sometimes, but I just always like to do the best I can. :)

Anyway, I'm feeling a fair bit better now - I've actually managed to finish off a few small projects over the weekend (whilst confined to the sofa with a bad cold), and should be posting them soon.

I'm glad to hear that! I also wish I could send you some sun and warmy air cause I have in spare here!!
Get well!!

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